Creative Complaining

If you’re anything like me, you complain at and about work. Ok, maybe Rena doesn’t because A) only Austin is there to listen and B) it’s hard to complain about the boss when the boss is you. But the rest of you, surely, have gripes. I know Dorrie does. :) I am definitely not going to start spewing my work frustrations here; I think one of the most prevalent follies of bloggers and Facebookers is saying all sorts of shit about work and not expecting to get busted when their boss inevitably stumbles across their blog. Side note: is it creepy to everyone else that your boss might be googling you? Anyway...

My coworker, good friend, and complaint volleying partner recently suggested that we start exchanging frustrations in the form of poems. As she pointed out, our complaints are often just rehashes of things we’ve said before. By putting them in poem-form, we’re prompted to be a little creative, at least.

This suggestion reminded me of two things. It strikes me as funny that while neither my work at McGraw-Hill nor my job here at the School has anything at all to do with poetry, but I’m prompted to craft poems for each nonetheless. At MH, every birthday or going away party was cause to plagiarize/satirize/pay homage to (and every now and then write original) poems, songs, and even the occasional biblical verse. Collections of these poems became part of our English group culture. At Ben’s and my shared going away party, for instance, we were treated to our friends singing new lyrics to famous jail-break-themed songs.

But, more immediately, I was reminded of the time Josh sent me a wonderful, hilarious haiku about how and why working at McGraw-Hill was NOT the cat’s pajamas. Sadly, that has been lost to the annals and neither Josh nor I can find it.

I don’t want my latest creations to meet the same fate, so I offer them up here. I think they’re innocuous enough that I won’t get fired if my boss does, in fact, google me.

About my ever annoying and work-dodging coworker:
Please, figure something
Out for yourself. You're not dumb
Despite how you act

My coworker’s response:
Me, I overheard
Just enough this afternoon
To share this feeling

About the same jackass (written by my coworker):
plans for my weekend:
avoid awkwardly smug men
who e-date from work

About a nice but space-invading and halitosis-suffering coworker:
Sweater vests. Coffee.
Why stand so damn close to me?
Please, invest in mints.