Adjustments

You’d think that after two semesters of school I’d have reconciled myself to what I’m giving up as well as what I’m gaining. In reflecting more on what I wrote yesterday, I realized that part of my frustration rests squarely on my shoulders. I love being in school now and am excited that I’m learning a lot and setting myself up for new opportunities down the road. But it means some less wonderful things, too: it’s harder than ever visit friends out of town. I’ve now completed two semesters and did the same thing both times; I felt so busy during the term that I promised everyone I know a visit once I had a break. This August I’m going to Massachusetts to see my sister, the Berkshires to see Rena, and Vermont to see some old friends and meet one of Todd’s oldest friends. Broken promises include a visit to Colorado to see Laura and Nate and meet baby Piper and a visit to London to see Tina. I wish I could come in the fall instead, but I know once my semester starts up again the opportunity to travel will disappear.

And I’ve talked a lot lately about being a little sick of New York and wanting to get out of here, and I think some of that has to do with school, too. Ironically, I have to stay in New York during this program, but it’s also the time when I can least enjoy the city. There just isn’t the time to see Broadway shows, visit galleries, lounge in the park, etc.

All that said, a lot of this is just the sad circumstance in living in a city abandoned by my peeps. A couple of weeks ago, Todd and I met up by his office, which is near Madison Square Park. We wanted to get a drink and after walking a few blocks south found ourselves at the one and only No Idea Bar. We went in, mostly to indulge my nostalgia. The place was completely the same, except that now the music seemed way too loud. I suspect that says more about how I’ve changed than how the bar has. It took me back to our weekly gatherings and the days when I really had a circle of friends in New York. This was around the same time a group of us all went to the movies together; I think we saw The Talented Mr. Ripley. Outside the theater after the movie we all pulled out our cell phones and Michael said something like, “Who was going to call you? Everyone you know is right here at the movies with you.” Those days of having all my friends together in one place are long gone.

Todd got word the other night that another of his friends is now leaving the city, too. I am meeting new people and making new friends at school, and maybe at some point those still new friendships will solidify to the same extent as my other friendships. For now, though, I’ll continue to miss you guys and days when visits didn’t require so much planning.