Wednesday, April 2, 2008

If the 1 train were a person I would punch it in the face

Seriously, words cannot describe how much I hate the 1 train. I only take it when I'm running late and fool myself into thinking that by walking two minutes to the 1 train, instead of 10 minutes to the C train, I'll actually get to work faster. You'd think I'd have wised up by now, but I'm either a total idiot or a masochist. This morning I got to the platform to find it absolutely teeming with other miserable commuters. An express train came and went, so full that half the people waiting couldn't fit on it. Two more trains later I finally was able to squeeze onto a 1.

I am fully aware that none of the people on the train are any happier at this point than I am. We all just want to get to work without much commotion. But as the dude next to me continues to let his hand slip down the bar until it's touching mine (this wasn't some gross train cop-a-feel; there are seriously a whole mess of New Yorkers who just find their own arms too heavy to hold up); and the chick behind me keeps shifting her purse and elbowing me with every adjustment; and the pre-teen on the way to school regales her cohorts with absolutely hilarious stories about being a vegetarian and how, in an apparent surprise to her idiotic friend, ham does not come from a turkey and, hello, both are meat anyway, I began to hate them and the 4,002 other people in the car.

But more than I hated those people, I hate the MTA. Is it just me or have they been sucking more than usual lately? They should be fat with cash right now, since I and the eight gazillion other New York subway riders just got socked with a fare hike. Maybe they could spend that money on actually getting us all to work without intimate knowledge of each other's body contours.

6 comments:

Spooky said...

I frequently find myself singing this song on my commute. It doesn't make me hate my fellow commuters any less, but it does distract me a bit. I highly recommend it.

kimberly kinchen said...

I think the MTA is being shaken down. That's really the only conclusion I can draw. Some organized crime syndicate is siphoning away our fare and tax dollars.

You know I was late to work today, right? Because there was debris on the tracks at Vernon Jackson, the 7 stopped running in both directions, which meant that I couldn't even get down to the platform b/c the 7 overflow was filtering onto the SIX other lines that stop at Roosevelt/ 74 Street. Sorry, I don't do firetraps, especially when conveniently located on a train platform. Seriously, the FDNY should have been issuing the MTA citations for not having crowd control.

With that. . . I counter your MTA rant and raise you a metrocard.

jesse said...

I also think the MTA has been getting worse! I'd say over the past six to eight months, there have been more inexplicable ef-ups, especially in the mornings. I'm fairly convinced that the 2/3 trains have just flat-out stopped running as often during morning rush hour, and I swear that the newest L trains now move slower in the tunnel that bridges Manhattan and Brooklyn.

Then again, I also think that NY1 gives temperatures that are one to three degrees warmer than accurate, so I could be on my way to crazytown.

ellebee said...

I feel your pain... As much as I hate living in a place with no public transportation and despite the middle-American guilt about my gas-guzzling SUV, I will never miss the rush-hour Brooklyn-Manhattan commute!

S Bennett said...

I'm down with Jesse's comment.

I would just add that being on the 1 Train for 35 minutes on top of 20 minutes on the L Train is a special kind of hell.

Tina said...

I hear the MTA rant, and the FDNY shout-out, raise you one London Underground Oyster Card. Try all the delays, smells and fire disasters...

With no airconditioning. Ever. Not possible.

Ever sit next to the smelliest person on the train and been dripped on by his sweat.

Wow. How much am I not looking forward to summer in London. Luckily, though, it only lasts about 3 weeks and then the drizzle kicks back in... sigh...